I'm lying in a lounger with tan legs extended and small beads of sweat beginning to wistfully pool along my hairline. The sun is dangling overhead from bluebird skies, and the shimmer of water is reflecting in my sunglasses. With a cold beer in hand, tunes that swoon of summertime dancing from the speaker, and a friend of more than a decade by my side, everything feels right in the world.
Except then it doesn't.
I am leaving the chilly mountains of Colorado today and jetting off to sunny Texas for a well-deserved girls' weekend with one of my all-time besties! The amount of joy exuding from my heart right now is off-the-charts, and I'm already envisioning poolside cocktails and long leisurely patio lunches.
And even though my energy is sky-high, I never leave home without a little crystal support to see me through the ups and downs of travel and of being away from home. These three trusty crystal companions are some of my go-tos for stuffing in my bra or my carry-on and hitting the road.
"How do you know you're psychic? Is it something we can all be taught?"
I was curled up in my favorite glider in the living room just a few days ago, and my friend was across from me on my dark charcoal couch peering at me with inquisitive eyes. I had been telling her about my recent experience with a Peruvian shaman, and suddenly we were neck deep in a conversation about reading energy, talking to spirits and traveling through dimensions.
For years now I've had the kind of experiences in meditation that make people either want to smack me or study me. Violent shaking, loud guttural noises and orgasmic energy movement are all par for the course these days, and I've stopped trying to diminish my experience for the sake of making other people feel better. What happens to me isn't normal.
As you probably saw from the pictures, our stay at Hotel Arbe was nothing short of amazing. A modernly designed 11-room hotel situated on a beautiful cliff overlooking the Cantabrian Sea, perfect in every way. They even have an onsite spa equipped with sauna and massage services that they proudly tell you about upon check-in. With chronic back problems, I so needed a massage from my 6+ hours of driving, so we signed up for back-to-back appointments the following morning. After breakfast the next morning, we checked in with the woman at the front desk and asked where we should go for our massages. In Spanish she told us to go back up to our room, take off our clothes, wrap our large bath towels around us, and use the elevator to the -1 floor (that's how they do things here... Basement is -1, ground floor is 0 and second floor is 1) to the massage therapy room. Brian would wait in the relaxation area in the heated lounge chairs, and I would be first up for my massage.
It began as a gift to myself on this day of my birth. Somewhere along the way it turned into a lullaby to my most precious daughter. And finally it became this collection of sweet nothings for all of us.
So listen, dear one. This is for you...
Your desires are beautiful, and they are right on time. Allow the longings of your heart, and pay attention to them. Dream big.
I feel so soft this morning. I am connected to myself and the whole in such a sweet, surrendered way.
I’ve been noticing lately how hard my edges get when I am entrenched in the trappings of the mind. When I am consumed with my body or with money or with whatever other distraction the ego tells me is truth. But when I pull myself away and I feel into the soft spaces of myself and the earth, I realize how false it all is.
I meditated on my connection with the earth this morning. I felt her beneath my feet, and I slipped into her steady warmth. I felt her core emanating vibrance and her waters fueling life. I felt a part of something bigger, and I released into it with relief.
I'm sitting on the balcony of our coastal condo and I'm staring out at the sparkling blue waters of the sea. Pelicans are chattering noisily to one another as they take turns nose-diving into the water. Small boats laze by, and the lap of the water is lulling me into a quiet, open-eyed meditation.
All is well.
At least it should be.
But I am not completely present. I keep glancing down at the rolls of belly beneath my thin blue tank top, and my mind jumps back and forth between the beer I'd like to have and the exercising I think I probably should be doing. It's a constant assault, and today it's been particularly exhausting.
We are making another move this week. I am sitting in the living room of our latest little furnished rental surrounded by a tower of grey plastic totes housing the things we shuffle around the country with us in the name of coziness and freedom and ease.
The quilt my mom made for me from my college t-shirts. My juicer and fancy blender. Her toys. His bike.
It's interesting to think what really matters to you. Like really, really matters. Because when you distill down your worldly possessions to just a few totes worth, you start to see how our lives and our stuff tell a story about who we are.
Is it the story you want?
Tonight I am grateful for first haircuts complete with raspberries and fizzy water in wine glasses.
I am grateful for braid crowns and sweet princess giggles.
I am grateful for lessons in playing pretend and practice building couch forts.
I am grateful for squeaky three-year-old voices and completely nonsensical jokes.
I am grateful for lap cuddles and kiss attacks and tickles that really just hurt.
I am grateful for the mom stuff that some days I forget to notice.
Tonight I am grateful that I noticed.
Even if it took all those tears yesterday to clear my eyes to see today.
On Memorial Day of 2015, my husband and I loaded ourselves and our almost-three-year-old daughter up in our SUV pulling a tiny U-Haul trailer filled with what was left of our worldly possessions and drove 1,000 miles across the Southwest USA to our new temporary home in Durango, Colorado. After nine months of planning, researching and selling our things, we officially began a life of full-time slow-travel and willingly flung ourselves into the Great Unknown.
Simply put, meditation is the quieting of the mind that allows the body deep, cleansing rest. When the body is allowed to slip into this state of rest, amazing things begin to happen. Stress releases. Cells rebuild. Energy moves. Healing occurs. Even five minutes a day can have a tremendous impact on your health and wellbeing. These days most of us live in a perpetual state of stress, yet we don't quite understand how this is physically impacting our health. How are our thoughts and day-to-day stressors creating such tangible effects in our bodies? And how can meditation reverse this?
