It happens to us all. We're humming right along in life, things are a-okay, and then we wake up one day in an undeniable funk. We don't exactly remember why we feel so bad, but we know for sure that we don't feel good.
We find ourselves analyzing and judging it in our minds. We push against it, and before we know it we're owning it. We're talking about it on repeat with our friends and family, and it weaves itself right into the definition of who we are.
"I just haven't been feeling that great lately. I'm kind of in a funk."
I hear it over and over from friends and clients wanting help to move stuck negative energy. They know they don't feel good, and they know they want to feel better - but they can't break the loop.
The following are three of the practical, actual ways I effectively release negative energy in my own life and how I help others do the same.
1. Ask the Right Questions
We are story-making machines in a world full of 24-hour story-building factories. We create and we create and we create, but for some reason we do it in a way that boxes us in, that suffocates us, that makes us feel like royal piles of crap.
The key to releasing negative energy is changing the story. What if you weren't a victim? (You aren't.) And what if you had total power right now to uncreate and destroy all those elaborate stories that keep you locked in fear and misery? (You do.) And what if you could feel better right here, right now? (You can.)
To get out of the grips of the story, you have to be willing to tell a different one. And to tell a different one, you have to get a new perspective. And we gain new perspective by asking the right questions.
What would it feel like to take all that negative energy, roll it in a ball and set it aside for just a moment? Could you gain enough objective clarity to be honest with yourself and answer the following questions (credit: Byron Katie):
"Is it mine? Is this negative energy truly mine? Or can I remember whose it is? Can I recall the moment when I allowed someone else to pass it off to me? If so, would I allow myself to uncreate and destroy that moment when I talked myself into believing it was mine?"
"Do I really believe this is true? This story, the one on repeat in my mind - do I really, really, really believe it's true? Or is it just part of the big load of crappy lies I tell myself to make myself feel wrong and bad and afraid? And if I'm willing to see that it's probably not even based in a smidge of truth, am I ready to let it go in favor of love and ease and spaciousness and light?"
"Who am I when I believe this? Do I even like myself when I believe in all this false BS? Am I loving and brave and kind when I believe this nonsense? Or am I sad and fearful and meek? Who do I want to be and how do I want to feel? Is it worth holding onto this energy and feeling this way?"
"Am I willing to let go of this? Am I open to seeing this whole thing differently? Am I okay with turning on the truth filter in my brain that allows me to see this whole situation from new eyes and in a new light? Am I willing to feel good?"
If we can scramble the messages that have been on repeat in our brains, suddenly we create a new pathway for seeing the situation differently. A miracle is simply a shift in perspective, and when we actively shift ours, we welcome miracles with open arms.
2. Move. Your. Body.
The essence of flow in life is movement. Think of water. Running water is healthy and vital. Standing water is putrid and foul. When we stagnate, we clog.
Negative energy is nothing more than a stuck pattern. It is density we have accumulated in the form of limiting thinking, traumatic experience, energetic influence or otherwise.
When we move our bodies, whether it be through vigorous exercise or something like gentle stretching or dancing, we invite space. We send rich breath throughout our being and offer new life to our cells in the form of oxygen.
Our bodies are wired with thousands of invisible channels called "nadis". Eastern medicine calls them meridians. On a subtle level, energy is constantly moving and grooving through the subway system of our energy bodies, but when blocks occur, those channels back up. We can re-invite flow through physically manipulating the area itself or by stimulating the points associated with each channel. In the April edition of The Wand, I talk about the four ways to physically move stuck energy.
3. Get Heart-Centered
The only way to completely eradicate darkness is with light. Forgiveness, compassion, joy and love are the quickest ways to free ourselves from the chains of negative energy. But how do we climb out of that deep gunky hole when all we can see is impossibility and struggle?
Find an authentic feeling of love and grab onto it with everything you've got.
When I lead meditation, I often start with this process. Focusing the attention at the heart. Remembering a time in your life when you felt the way you're wanting to feel right now. And then milking that memory until you're actively embodying those emotions with your entire being.
It takes work, and you have to want it. You have to be willing to put your current situation aside, and you have to desire a shift bad enough that you're willing to swim around in a different feeling actively and purposefully.
But when you achieve that feeling of expansion and love and confidence and grace, you are suddenly operating from a higher vantage point than you were before. Even if the situation at hand still has its grips on you in one way or another, with even one beam of light, you find higher ground within yourself and suddenly everything changes.
Being human is the ultimate experiment in contrast. The moments of despair and pain teach us to savor the moments of joy and expansion. And the stillness and strength we find inside ourselves during both teaches us that the gift of life is there regardless of the story we are focused on or the energy we are currently experiencing.
The mindful life hasn't removed the pain of being human for me. Yes, it has made both the highs and the lows higher, and it has given me a tangible, practical tool for managing my energy. But the real gift is in the subtlety, the appreciation of the process. We are here to experience and to love and to feel and to bask. And mindful living has showed me how being present for those things makes them that much sweeter.