The Secret to Life: How to Give Less Fucks and Feel Better

Okay, with a title like that, I feel the need to cut right to the chase. Because for fuck’s sake, there’s nothing worse than being strung along while you’re waiting for someone to just. get. to. the. point.

(That was me yesterday watching one of those ridiculous free webinars and yelling at the lady on my screen to just tell me the motherflippin’ content already.)

So here it goes….

You being you is enough.

That’s it. That’s the whole damn secret to life.

You’re just supposed to be you. And I’m just supposed to be me. And we’re all supposed to stop being so judgy about everyone else being themselves. And we’re DEFINITELY supposed to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else.

Abide by those three little rules and your life will get a whole hell of a lot easier.

Okay, to review:

  • Rule 1: Be yourself.

  • Rule 2: Stop judging other people for being themselves.

  • Rule 3: Don’t compare you being you to anyone else being them.

I’m serious people. You think I’m joking, but this is the real, legit secret to life.

If you’ve read my blog for a while or followed me on Instagram, then you know that meditation, writing, and positive messages are my schtick. Those are the things that feel good to me. I naturally gravitate toward uplifting, funny memes on Instagram, and weird mystical shit always seems to be knocking at my door. And then I like to write about it. It’s just who I am. It’s not something I strive at or force.

My sister Lacy is all about deep conversations with people and smoothies with a bunch of weird shit jammed in there that makes them taste delicious. She’s magic like that. She doesn’t have to jazz herself up with a daily pep talk saying, “Okay I can do this. I can have this deep and meaningful conversation with this person.” She thrives on that shit. While eating wheat grass or turmeric or some exotic blend of kombucha. That’s her jam.

My husband can make a spreadsheet or a powerpoint presentation in his sleep. My kid can name almost every Beanie Boo ever made. My friend Janet can Kaizen the shit out of your business. And my other friend Amanda can put an entire outfit together on like 10 bucks.

It’s who they are.

And you don’t have to be anything like them. Or maybe you are like them, and you want to start a Facebook group where everyone talks about Excel shortcuts and shares pictures of their Beanie Boos while clipping coupons and slapping post-its on the wall of workstream flows. That’s cool.

No matter if you’re a little like someone else or have things in common with absolutely no one, the ease and flow comes the minute you start embracing yourself for being YOU.

Do you know what else happens when you take a deep fucking breath and just ground into who you are?

It becomes so much easier to enjoy everyone else. Because you realize it doesn’t matter how brightly they shine in their lives. You don’t have to feel diminished by someone else’s light. As long as you’re over there doing you, shining in your own life, then the colors just naturally complement one another. There’s enough light for everyone.

Are you with me?

I challenge you to pick three things you love about yourself right now and celebrate the shit out of those this week. I mean, really love yourself up and give gratitude for how awesome it is to be you.

And then I double challenge you to find three people you see killing it out there in the world being themselves and tell them what you love about them. It can be large or small.

I adore my daughter’s commitment to dressing in Descendants-themed clothing every day. I mean, her style is next-level for a 2nd grader.

I think it’s amazing how my husband has a box of boxes, just in case he needs one that’s just that perfect size for whatever he might want to store.

And I love how my Dad runs on his treadmill every day and then feels the need to Polo me while on said treadmill to remind me of how healthy he is for a 65-year-old, just in case I’ve forgotten.

All those things are so…them. And it’s what makes life fun. Us crazy humans being ourselves in a way that brings joy into our own lives.

As for me, I admire my endless desire to share my joy. It’s fun and natural, and it results in blog posts like this. I love how committed I am to making my daughter’s morning routine feel upbeat and nurturing. And I appreciate how I know how to dress myself where I feel like I’m wearing pajamas and at the same time feel totally cute.

We are each a menagerie of interesting qualities and quirks, and the minute we focus on the cool shit right there in our own curio cabinet is the moment we start to feel better in our own lives.

The secret to life is giving less fucks about who everyone else is being and seeing the unique beauty in who you are.